Bruni’s pert pillbox hat was perfect. Poor Camilla looked like a pheasant crash-landed on her head
Demure as a virgin bride, Mrs Sarkoxy arrived in Britain with an oh-so-chic hat perched on her gently curling hair. And then there was Camilla, wearing what can only be called roadkill, says AMANDA PLATELL

• President Sarkozy’s salute to ‘the British, our saviours’

• QUENTIN LETTS: The UK’s ‘great and the good’ leave off fiddling expenses to receive Sarkozy’s undeserved praise

• Think THIS image of Carla is racy? You should see the ones I didn’t publish, says photographer

First person fired from The Apprentice is self-styled snob (and David Cameron lookalike) who claimed his only failure in life was a B-grade GCSE
He boasted that his only failure in life had been getting a B-grade in one of his GCSEs. But last night trainee barrister and self-styled snob Nicholas De Lacy Brown had the unwanted distinction of being the first business hopeful to be told ‘You’re Fired!

• We’re all fired up: The 16 wannabes battling it out to become Sir Alan Sugar’s Apprentice

Does my sash look big in this? We meet the size 16 Miss England contender
At size 16, she’s the beauty queen – and Miss England contender – who offers hope to every normal woman. But how DOES Chloe Marshall feel about exposing her wobbly bits to the world?

Just looking at them is enough to make your eyes water so could YOU get into Posh’s pants?
When it comes to wearing daring, Victoria’s got it down pat. But could a ‘real’ woman carry off the look with such confidence and aplomb? The prospect of squeezing into a pair of trousers that leave virtually nothing to the imagination was terrifying – but then strangely appealing

• PVC Posh: Victoria Beckham squeezes into her tightest trousers ever

Penny Smith brushes aside her bad hair morning
Penny Smith suffered a blow-dry disaster and looked distinctly windswept presenting the GMTV news

Peter Andre huffs and puffs on a run after vowing to fight the flab ‘Rocky’ style
Peter Andre tries to keep up with his ex-marine personal trainer as he bids to recapture the body of his youth ‘the traditional way’ after ruling out cosemetic surgery in his weight battle

Is fear of offending ethnnic minorities stopping police from ending the misery of teenage sex slaves?
Police believe as many as 5,000 under-age British girls have been groomed for prostitution by ruthless criminal gangs. And unpalatable as it may be, many of these crimes have a racial element with pimps coming from the Asian or Afro-Caribbean community

The pushy, self-styled ‘Super Glo’ … Meet the ruthless lawyer hired by Heather Mills
Gloria Allred, is a controversial attorney who is notorious for fighting dirty – and Heather has hired her to get even with Macca

• Heather calls in the experts to prove Paul DOES have £800million

Daddy’s goodbye girl: The wife who used her dead husband’s sperm tells of her incredible journey from despair to joy
Newborn Jamie-Rose Roberts has the same brown hair, olive skin and beguiling eyes as the father she will never see. He died four years ago from cancer, leaving a young son and a widow who decided to use his frozen sperm to ‘complete’ her family. Here she tells of her joy…