The literary world: it’s a jungle out there

Ruth Padel has resigned after just nine days as the Oxford Professor of Poetry in a mire of smears, sexual allegations and and counter-slurs.

How better to mark the sordid affair than with some poetry of our own?

You dream to become
Oxford’s number one
Poet.
You win – Hooray! – then you go and blow it.

Yes, it’s rubbish, no, it doesn’t scan and no, it doesn’t really rhyme. Have a go for youself in the form below. Surely you can do better.

Please include your full name if you would like your entry to appear in The Times tomorrow.